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Monthly Archives: March 2006

>Charlie in my Chocolate Factory

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FINALLY I have found a central list of porn video titles spoofing mainstream movies. There are some real gems in here:

-Chicken Not-So-Little
-Erectra
-Cock the Line
-Corpse Ride
-Get Bitch With Thighs, Ryan! (Guess…still confused? Get Rich or Die Tryin)

and my personal favorite:

-Hairy Pooper and the Gonads of Fire Island ( ! )

I have a feeling that this will be the source of some new catchphrases amongst the OFL crew, or what’s left. You hear me, deserters?! Or are you too taken in with bright lights and historical battle reenactments, or whatever it is that captivates a mind in RVA. Sorry Marshal, I know first-hand that there’s nothing in Texas but…

Incidentally, between bouts of writhing in agony earlier today, I watched that doc Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. While the story itself is pretty interesting, the film is too long and the oddest complaint I have was about poor sound production. I understand that it was a small(er) budget but some of the audio and music felt awkwardly pasted together and of poor quality at times. I’m no Foley artist (in fact by just making that statement I’m probably revealling a complete lack of knowledge) but if I notice it, it’s probably glaring.

George Lucas would groan like a wookie and threw a chair at his 300″ TV if he watched this thing. Not too much concern for that, though, since he is probably too pre-occupied with trying to figure out how to print more money with Star Wars (besides the upcoming 2007 re-releases). It’s so sad to see a man who doesn’t seem to understand that you can’t green-screen talent.

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Posted by on March 15, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

>Batman of the woods

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Whoah, this leaf looks exactly like the new Batman symbol. Except it’s missing an ear…maybe the trees are trying to tell him something…
-via hiptop

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

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I realized today, while watching Death Wish, that some peoples’ mustouches are really more like eyebrows for their mouths. Check out the Bronson-man’s above for a perfect example. Big bushy mouth eyebrows. Keeps the sweat out.

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

>WE NOW CONTROL SHARK BRAIN

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Click here to read about how the U.S. military and researchers from somewhere just got approval to control sharks through implants in their brains to use them as spies and shit. Yes, 00shark. Surely the end of the world is close at hand, or it’s just my reactionist ways being alarmed by the thought of a not-too-distant future where ridiculous shit happens all around us and yet we still have to all work. No Star Trekkian utopia of true egalitarianism. But we probably will be able to be beamed up.

Maybe Localtising can get AdSense going in the implants so that when rival factions intercept our command signals they get ads for their local hair salon, and we make a percentage if they click the ad? Hmmmm…I feel a company meeting may be needed tomorrow…

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2006 in Uncategorized

 
 
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