>…for the People

18 Jul


No, not Morgan, Colling, & Gilbert but Congressional Research documents. What do the leaders of our nation do if they don’t know something? Google it? Nope, they CRS it. The CRS pulls all known info about a subject for the professionally inquiring. Supposedly objective fact-finding for policy making. How do you like that sentence writering?

Funded by us, the CRS does like bajillions of writeups a year for congressman. A lot of which is just discarded. Some is kept updated annually.

I wonder if they’re hiring.

CRS Boss 1: “Erik, we need to know what is making all of the water in Pittsburgh so wet.”
Me: “I’ll dive right in, boss.”
CRS Boss 1: “OMG, you are like the funniest person we have ever had working here. Do you want to be our new data coordinator?”
Me: “Yes.”

two weeks later

Me: “Richard, can you please figure out where all of these gays are coming from?”
Doug: “I’m Doug.”
Me: “You smug asshole.”
CRS Boss 1: “Erik, you’re fired.”

What a ride.


Posted by on July 18, 2005 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “>…for the People

  1. antifreeze hyperdrive

    July 23, 2005 at 2:07 am

    >as one of your weekly blog readers i would like to comment on this post. my comment is such.i enjoy that scenario which you just played out before our very eyes, and dare i request to you, dearest sir of technology, that more of these small situations occur more frequently on your post-a-blog. it would be to the bemusement of all.

  2. eriK

    July 23, 2005 at 11:33 pm

    >Me: “Uhhh…sure, but you can’t force genius.”you: “heh.”Me: “No. I’m serious, you don’t appreciate me.”you: “Will you provide crazy fresh ideas for my filmic whims?”Me: “Yes.”you: “We’ll be famous!”Me: “NY will come to US.”you: “No, I’m not moving back to Orlando-“Me: :(you: “Did I mention I like mustard now?”Me: …you: “Well, I spose I should be going then.”Me: “Yes, well…”you: “Mmmm, bye for now.”Me: (nudges rock with foot) “See ya.”Now this one is just sad. I suppose not all will be funny.

  3. antifreeze hyperdrive

    July 24, 2005 at 12:26 am

    >that is time i eat mustard im going to vomit now.on the up and up though i just figured out how to make homeade yoohoo (just add a little water to that choco milk friend!) and on a side note…cmon i mean…everyone could move up to new york. $1 hot dogs! free music concert shows! tree-lined streets! buildings over 50 feet! and homeade yoohoo for all!uh oh i think the mustard man is coming.later!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: